This is a joke. Nothing on this page is for sale, and none of these products exist.
The Sign Shop Survival Store
Things every sign company owner has wished they could buy. Sadly, they're made up. The fixes under each one are real.
Permit Patience Candle
Burns for exactly as long as the permit review takes. Comes with a spare wick for the resubmittal.
Price: Three resubmittals
The real fix: A map of how work moves through your shop, from closed deal to install, written down as simple SOPs your team can follow.
Art Approval Hourglass
The sand only starts falling after the client says "looks great, just one small change."
Price: One small change
The real fix: A baseline of your sales and shop numbers before anything changes, then the same numbers measured after the fix.
Install Day Crystal Ball
Tells you whether the crew, the materials and the lift will all show up on the same day. Cloudy on Mondays.
Price: Two reschedules
The real fix: Less re-typing and chasing in the shop, and more time for the work that brings in jobs.
Self-Collecting Invoice Boomerang
Throw it at a late customer and it comes back paid. Results not guaranteed. Results not possible.
Price: Net ninety
The real fix: Payment links on your invoices, so customers can pay directly.
Vendor Juggling Kit
Five balls, one for each vendor who needs an answer right now. Practice set includes a ringing phone.
Price: Four unread threads
The real fix: We connect the tools you already use, so quotes, jobs and invoices stop living in separate platforms.
Already-Typed-It Keyboard
Pre-loaded with the job you just typed into the other system. Every key is the same key.
Price: The same job, twice
The real fix: An integration between your shop software and your project board, so a job is entered once.
Want the real fixes instead?
A few quick questions about your shop.